Something Jon Lee taught me: We Show What's Important

What do people see when they see me? What do people see when they see you?

I served on staff with YWAM Newcastle for about 3 years before college and I loved it. Looking back, I feel like it was very much a growing up time in my life. During my time there, I was stretched and trained, led and loved. I arrived a boy with hopes and dreams (undefined and unknown), and left a man with hope, faith, passion, direction, and purpose. There are many lessons to learn on one’s journey to manhood. I have learned far from all of them. My friend Jon Lee taught me this particular lesson I want to share with all of you. He taught me that it was important to remember that image you portray for others is, for better or for worse, usually what they tend to see.

When I first arrived in Newcastle, I quickly discovered that here in YWAM Newcastle, people loved Hardcore Music. One could walk down the hall and find multiple rooms sampling the brutal roars of Josh Scogin of Norma Jean or playing air drums along with the breakdowns of Underoath. You could even hear its influence in our weekly worship times. Most songs had a breakdown during the bridge. Every song had potential for some half timed symbol crash, and every so often the worship leader or background singer would blow the roof off the place with a roar that broke our chains and led us to the throne of God. Needless to say, I quickly became a fan and soon learned to love hardcore music. I loved it, and I thought I was really cool because I loved it.

YWAM life is a life of seasons. With every different season, students arrive from all over the world to come experience God on our schools, while the older students either go back home or leave for outreach. With every new student, came a new opportunity for a new set of first impressions.

I really loved hardcore music back then and wrapped a bit of my identity into that. So when a new batch of students came along, I, like some of the staff that came before me, would leave my room door open, and play my music super loud. Making it loud and clear that I was into hardcore music, the heavier and crazier the better. I thought I was so cool.

My neighbor in the next room over was a guy called Jon Lee, the legend, the rock star, the wise guy, the man himself. Jon was on staff for about a year before I got there and was well liked by all. I thought he was a rock star and wise man mixed into one. More then that, he was a good friend of mine. Needless to say, I respected him a lot and valued his opinion.*

One day, while blasting my music, feeling good, I noticed Jon Lee in his room, listening to hardcore music quite softly by himself. I went over and we talked about nothing for a while. Later I asked him, “Hey Jon, why don’t you ever play your music super loud?”

His answer still challenges me today. He looked at me, took a big breath, sighed**, and said, “I just don’t want other people to see me as just a hardcore kid. Don’t get me wrong, I love the music, but that’s not who I am. I figure I have one chance to make a first impression, and I’d rather them see me as man of God. That’s what I want to be known for.”

I agreed, went back to my room, and turned my music down. See what Jon wanted to portray was the thing that was most important to him. The image we willingly portray says a lot about what really matters to us. I'm not against playing your music really loud, dressing a certain way, sporting your favorite team, or something else. What matters is your intentions behind said action. It scares me a little when I think about the image the typical college guy projects. What is manhood? What do we project? Guys today pretend they don’t care about anything. Even worse, they might not actually care about anything, anything beside themselves that is.

I’m far from perfect and am still learning. I’m trying to figure out this manhood thing. I want to live as Jesus did. David Livingstone once said, “God had an only son and he was a missionary. A poor, poor example of him I am. But in his work I now live. And in this work, I wish to die.”

I too fall way short. Despite my constant failures, I want to portray that which is most important to me.

I don’t want to be a hardcore kid. I want to be a man of God.

What are you? What do you want people to see when they see you?

Ernie

* And still very much do.

** For those of you know who know Jon, the breath and sigh thing before he answers a question is classic! For example:

Me: “How you doing Jon?

Jon: Deep breath, big sigh, “I’m good.”

To Fail and Fail Again

A couple days ago, I decided to go to Starbucks fairly early in the morning.* The weather was perfect, so I decided to enjoy my coffee outside. As I sat and drank, an old man in a crisp vintage brown suit walked past me, stopped and looked back at me and said, “The only real failure in life is the failure to try.” Then without further explanation, he winked, turned around, and went on his way. I’m pretty sure this guy was an angel because he brought me the word. To say the least, it hit me between the eyes.

You see, lately I’ve been thinking about fear, brokenness, change, hope, bravery, faith, the seemingly impossible, and believe they are all related. I am proud to say I have lived a pretty full life so far. I got to experience cultures and places that have shattered my idea of normal and expanded my view of God, laughed until I cried countless times, saw a faithful God come through in the clutch more times then I can remember, took risks that worked out well and some not well at all, jumped off 60 foot cliffs, sat on a cliff where on one side of me I looked into the ocean and saw a crazy lightning storm and on the other side a meteorite shower, and lots more. And yet, looking back at life, both recent times and distant memories, because I was afraid of looking stupid, being less then average, getting rejected, not measuring up, or put simply, because of a fear of failure, I missed out of so much LIFE.

How can a man call himself a man if he is not willing face and respond to his failures? Though I won’t commit to failure, I do commit to the possibility of failing. Abraham Lincoln once said, “My great concern is not whether you have failed, but whether you are content with your failure.” A truth I have come believe is that often times success is only a few steps past failure.

I believe the process of risk taking and failing is the way of the Kingdom of God. The process will keep us humble and reveal our character. Jesus puts it this way, “The greatest among you will be the servant of all.” Paul said it like this, “Each time he said, "My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness." So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.” Again in Romans, Paul writes, “Because of the privilege and authority God has given me, I give each of you this warning: Don't think you are better than you really are. Be honest in your evaluation of yourselves, measuring yourselves by the faith God has given us.”** As a people, we must descend into greatness.

I want to do all the things I am afraid of, even if I fail every time. Who knows, maybe I might be good at some of these things! Life is happening all around me, and I don’t want to miss any of it. When I fall in life, I will get back up. I find that in times of hardship and situation where I am uncomfortable or in need, I run to God. When we are willing to fail, we constantly put ourselves in a place of discomfort, compelling us to live by faith in God

When I look to the future and think about the vision God has given me, I have to be a man who does the hard thing, takes risks, and is willing to fail. I won’t be satisfied with only small victories I already knew I could win. I want the big victories. Bill Gates once said, ““Success is a lousy teacher. It seduces smart people into thinking they can’t lose.”

I will learn from failure. I won’t let it stop me from trying.

Will You?

Ernest Johnston

*When I say fairly early, that means 10:15 am! Don't judge me.

** Matthew 23:11, 2 Corinthians 12:9, Romans 12:3

Sickness

To all my faithful and not so faithful readers!

It's been long and sickly week. I haven't written anything in a while because of health reasons and good old fashion busyness, but rest assured, I've had some good ideas brewing. Who knows, maybe I'll write something tonight.

It's been an odd week, but a good one. Here are some highlights:

- Lot's of sleep (exhausted sick sleep)

- Got hangout with Sarah McCutcheon for the first time since 2006! She is legendary.

- Watched two heavy documentaries that broke my heart. I will be writing about them.

- Went to entertaining, challenging, and enlightening conference about Songs of Solomon with the guys from the DGroup.

- Learned about failure, brokenness, and fear.

So expect this blog to pick up in the near future. Thanks for reading and being a part of my life.

Much Aloha. We are so blessed.

Ernie

A Defiant Confidence

There was once a man,

Who many consider quite foolish,

He built his house upon the sand.

But when the storms stormed and the floods flooded,

His house, standing so grand,

soon crashed and fell, even thudded.

Then there was another man,

This man was quite wise; you see he had a plan

He built his house upon a rock.

When the rains raged and the winds blew,

His house, though shaken,

held firm and steady, ever true.

The wise man’s hope founded on reliance,

Allows him to live loud, with confidence, shouting defiance.

His hope isn’t in things or chance,

And when the earth quakes, his foundation holds firm his stance.

God gives us HOPE that defies words like impossible,

He might lead you to a sea of red,

Or call you to build a house knowing there are storms ahead,

But I say this to you,

Trust God, build your house, and watch Him come through,

Ask for HOPE,

A defiant confidence that our God's character is ever TRUE

A Brief Case for my Briefcase: My Life Through Bags

Age: Kindergarten-2^nd Grade: Dinosaur Bag

Upon entrance into kindergarten, I was given my first bag. It was a bright (and very cool), multicolored backpack with a dinosaur on it… and I loved it. I don’t really remember what I put in it, aside from the usual sharpened pencils, random ruler, and when the situation called for it, the occasional scissors. I felt old with it on, well, I felt like I was one of the big kids, ready to go have fun and maybe learn.* Though not exactly, it looked similar to this.

Age: 3^rd-9^th Grade: Jansport

My second major man bag was given to me by my mom on the occasion of going to a new school. I loved this backpack. It was simple and durable dark green, but more importantly, it was a “big kid” backpack. At this stage of life, I started to do homework, and began to come into my own personality.

We went through a lot together. With everything from going through and finishing elementary school together, as well as the turbulent Jr. High years. We went through endless soccer games, with him always carrying my cleats, countless sleepovers, long and often successful adventures, and more. We quickly became old friends, my backpack and I, my constant companion.

Though mine was dark green, it looked like this:

Age: 10^th-12^th Grade: Bass Case

As they say, “All good things must come to an end,” and after 6 good well used years, my old friend, and constant companion finally snapped. Literally. The straps ripped, and with that, that season of life ended.

In the tenth grade I bought my first bass guitar. It was a cheap Squire P Bass, and it became a big part of my life. I loved playing in bands, feeding off the energy of the crowds, and the close friendships it brought. We played as many shows as we could, one mosh pit at a time.

Of course, every bass needs its case, and I mine was a simple gig bag. My case was cheap thing, offering little to no protection, just the illusion of safety. It was black and had two straps, serving as a backpack. If I wasn’t at home, school, or at the beach, there was a good chance you would see me with my bass, and of course, its case.

Age: 18-22: Traveling Backpack

For three and half year, I lived abroad in Australia, working as a youth worker and missionary to the city of Newcastle, and the surround nations. For much that, I lived out of a backpack, enjoying life as traveled through different cultures, loving people as best as I could, and living out adventure. This backpack and I traveled and saw the world. I miss using this backpack and the lifestyle that came with it.

Unlike other bags I owned, rather then laying it down to rest when I moved on, this backpack continued to see the world. I gave it away when I was done living abroad to a friend just beginning his journey. Hopefully it’s still out there, rather then in some closet.

Age:23-26: Dakine Backpack

Once again, I entered a new chapter life, and with it came a new bag. Not surprisingly, it was another backpack. The new model was all back, durable, big, and comfortable backpack, complete with a waterproof laptop pocket. This sucker was big and it served me well. I tend to carry a lot of things with me as go. This bag was cool and practical.

This bag has traveled a completely different journey then all my previous companions, an academic and enlightening journey. I don’t know if I love this backpack, but it was solid and dependable.

Age: 26-Present: Brief Case

I recently graduated college and felt like it was time for a change. With graduating college comes a sense of completion, a sense of professionalism, a sense of adulthood. My whole life I’ve had backpacks, and I felt it was time to grow up. So I decided to get a briefcase. Luckily, at a white elephant Christmas party, I spotted the perfect case, my ninja turtle brief case! It has everything I need, space for a computer, charger, books, glasses, and more. But best of all, it has no straps, but a handle.

Looking back to my first backpack, I guess I haven’t really come too far. My briefcase is bright and colorful, and has the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles on it… and I love it. My first backpack was bright and colorful, with a dinosaur on it. Maybe that means I am an adult, but a kid a heart.

The funny thing is that when I walk around with my new briefcase, I feel older. J

I’ve had some good bags and some good times with some good people. Looking forward to another 25 years more of the same.

Aloha,

Ernie

*Mostly just having fun!