What do people see when they see me? What do people see when they see you?
I served on staff with YWAM Newcastle for about 3 years before college and I loved it. Looking back, I feel like it was very much a growing up time in my life. During my time there, I was stretched and trained, led and loved. I arrived a boy with hopes and dreams (undefined and unknown), and left a man with hope, faith, passion, direction, and purpose. There are many lessons to learn on one’s journey to manhood. I have learned far from all of them. My friend Jon Lee taught me this particular lesson I want to share with all of you. He taught me that it was important to remember that image you portray for others is, for better or for worse, usually what they tend to see.
When I first arrived in Newcastle, I quickly discovered that here in YWAM Newcastle, people loved Hardcore Music. One could walk down the hall and find multiple rooms sampling the brutal roars of Josh Scogin of Norma Jean or playing air drums along with the breakdowns of Underoath. You could even hear its influence in our weekly worship times. Most songs had a breakdown during the bridge. Every song had potential for some half timed symbol crash, and every so often the worship leader or background singer would blow the roof off the place with a roar that broke our chains and led us to the throne of God. Needless to say, I quickly became a fan and soon learned to love hardcore music. I loved it, and I thought I was really cool because I loved it.
YWAM life is a life of seasons. With every different season, students arrive from all over the world to come experience God on our schools, while the older students either go back home or leave for outreach. With every new student, came a new opportunity for a new set of first impressions.
I really loved hardcore music back then and wrapped a bit of my identity into that. So when a new batch of students came along, I, like some of the staff that came before me, would leave my room door open, and play my music super loud. Making it loud and clear that I was into hardcore music, the heavier and crazier the better. I thought I was so cool.
My neighbor in the next room over was a guy called Jon Lee, the legend, the rock star, the wise guy, the man himself. Jon was on staff for about a year before I got there and was well liked by all. I thought he was a rock star and wise man mixed into one. More then that, he was a good friend of mine. Needless to say, I respected him a lot and valued his opinion.*
One day, while blasting my music, feeling good, I noticed Jon Lee in his room, listening to hardcore music quite softly by himself. I went over and we talked about nothing for a while. Later I asked him, “Hey Jon, why don’t you ever play your music super loud?”
His answer still challenges me today. He looked at me, took a big breath, sighed**, and said, “I just don’t want other people to see me as just a hardcore kid. Don’t get me wrong, I love the music, but that’s not who I am. I figure I have one chance to make a first impression, and I’d rather them see me as man of God. That’s what I want to be known for.”
I agreed, went back to my room, and turned my music down. See what Jon wanted to portray was the thing that was most important to him. The image we willingly portray says a lot about what really matters to us. I'm not against playing your music really loud, dressing a certain way, sporting your favorite team, or something else. What matters is your intentions behind said action. It scares me a little when I think about the image the typical college guy projects. What is manhood? What do we project? Guys today pretend they don’t care about anything. Even worse, they might not actually care about anything, anything beside themselves that is.
I’m far from perfect and am still learning. I’m trying to figure out this manhood thing. I want to live as Jesus did. David Livingstone once said, “God had an only son and he was a missionary. A poor, poor example of him I am. But in his work I now live. And in this work, I wish to die.”
I too fall way short. Despite my constant failures, I want to portray that which is most important to me.
I don’t want to be a hardcore kid. I want to be a man of God.
What are you? What do you want people to see when they see you?
Ernie
* And still very much do.
** For those of you know who know Jon, the breath and sigh thing before he answers a question is classic! For example:
Me: “How you doing Jon?
Jon: Deep breath, big sigh, “I’m good.”
No comments:
Post a Comment