The Knot

About a month ago, I got to be a part of a week long sports camp the churches put on for the kids every summer. I was a basketball coach and my team of boys dominated the competition! But that’s not the story I want to tell. I mean so what if my boys could physically pounded the opposition into the ground!

The story I want to tell is about a little boy with a little problem.

One rainy morning, it might have been a Tuesday, a little boy with sandy blond hair and a few missing teeth came up to me and grudgingly stuck out his shoe and said, “Coach Ernie, can you help me untie this knot! UGH. I can’t get it out.” He was visibly frustrated.

So I bent down to help him and realized this kid must of used all his strength tugging on that shoelace, because the sucker was as tight as a snare drum. I realized this was going to take some effort. I had the boy take of his shoe and give it to me. From there, it probably took me about 5 minutes to loosen the knot and untie the shoe.

I gave the shoe back to the kid and asked him why he didn’t just ask for help in the first place. To which he replied:

“I thought if I just pulled hard enough I could do it myself.”

Laughing to myself, I imagined this kid yanking that knot into submission, unbeknownst to himself, that with every pull, he further ensured his own failure.

You ever just fight with God? You ever stood toe to toe with God, looked him the eye (figuratively of course), knew exactly what He wanted you do, and whether you felt it was too hard, would cause too much sacrifice, or would take too much of your own time, you just flat out refused or simply ignored Him?

I know I have.

So we try our best to solve our problems, our way. We hold on to what we should let go of. Maybe God calls us to do something or live a certain way, and we feel we just don’t live up to the call. It just seems too hard. And instead of trusting that God will pick up where we fall short, or believing God will replace (in His own way and His own time) what He calls us to give up, we just keep living the way we always were. As if we believed that if we just tried harder, we could make it work or do it ourselves.

We’re just pulling the knot tighter and tighter.

Then after we pull till we can’t pull anymore, and that problem is as heavy as we can stand, we finally give up, give it to God and say or maybe even beg, “Please help. Please fix it.”

And you know, God does. But, all the while, God is just wishing you would just trust Him and let Him help you.

So you carrying something? You pulling at a knot you just can’t seem to untie, and you find it getting harder and harder?

Why not just surrender, stop trying to do it by yourself, and let God handle it.

Aloha,

Coach Ernie

Lions, Tigers, and Bears... Who's Next?

Much like the man who built his house on the Rock, another young man defied the defiant and unrelenting storm, and defeated the undefeated and unrepentant giant. In utter confidence, he stood tall amongst the cowed, a man fearless among the fearful.

One wonders what inspired in him such confidence? I’ve heard it said, “When you find yourself crippled by fear, simply pretend you are brave and act accordingly.” Such was not the case for this young man. This man did not pretend. Bravery was already deeply sowed within his heart. His confidence and valor already tested many times over. This giant, this goliath was simply next on the list.

But what was the secret to his valor, the mystery behind his confidence? This young man didn’t grow with sword in hand. He was no warrior, not even close. The young man grew up with staff and sling, guiding his sheep. He was the youngest in his family. The lowly shepherd boy.

Though young, untested this boy was not. Time and time again, alone in the wilderness, he defended his sheep from attacks from lions and bears. Without fail, the LORD gave the young man victory. The shepherd began to realize, “The LORD is my shepherd, and I have everything I need.” “The LORD is my rock and foundation, why should I be afraid?” Defiant in his confidence in the LORD, the heart of the man knew, “If the LORD was with him, there was no reason to fear.” Before long, this up and coming warrior would know the LORD was also his sword and shield, and nothing could stand against Him.

Later, the young man found himself at a battle many believed he was too young to face. A boy among men, his faith character showed true. When all of the men were too fearful to face the giant, the shepherd boy stood before the king and said:

David said to Saul, "Let no man's heart fail because of him; your servant will go and fight with this Philistine."

And Saul said to David, "You are not able to go against this Philistine to fight with him; for you are but a youth, and he has been a man of war from his youth."

But David said to Saul, "Your servant used to keep sheep for his father; and when there came a lion, or a bear, and took a lamb from the flock, I went after him and smote him and delivered it out of his mouth; and if he arose against me, I caught him by his beard, and smote him and killed him.

Your servant has killed both lions and bears; and this uncircumcised Philistine shall be like one of them, seeing he has defied the armies of the living God."

And David said, "The LORD who delivered me from the paw of the lion and from the paw of the bear, will deliver me from the hand of this Philistine."

And Saul said to David, "Go, and the LORD be with you!"*

So our hero went and faced the giant Goliath. Fearless and full of faith he stood before him. Here is the account of the battle:

And when the Philistine looked, and saw David, he disdained him; for he was but a youth, ruddy and comely in appearance.

And the Philistine said to David, "Am I a dog, that you come to me with sticks?" And the Philistine cursed David by his gods.

The Philistine said to David, "Come to me, and I will give your flesh to the birds of the air and to the beasts of the field."

Then David said to the Philistine, "You come to me with a sword and with a spear and with a javelin; but I come to you in the name of the LORD of hosts, the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have defied.

This day the LORD will deliver you into my hand, and I will strike you down, and cut off your head; and I will give the dead bodies of the host of the Philistines this day to the birds of the air and to the wild beasts of the earth; that all the earth may know that there is a God in Israel, and that all this assembly may know that the LORD saves not with sword and spear; for the battle is the LORD'S and he will give you into our hand."

When the Philistine arose and came and drew near to meet David, David ran quickly toward the battle line to meet the Philistine.

And David put his hand in his bag and took out a stone, and slung it, and struck the Philistine on his forehead; the stone sank into his forehead, and he fell on his face to the ground.

So David prevailed over the Philistine with a sling and with a stone, and struck the Philistine, and killed him; there was no sword in the hand of David.**

Today I face my giants. As many of us know, it seems easier to run and hide from our hardships, allowing them to rule and taunt us. But I know that even though the future seems bleak, just as the LORD delivered the shepherd from the lions, bears, even goliath, so He has brought me through my own struggles. Today I face my goliath. I will face my fears. My God will bring my family and I through our hardships.

I will face my goliaths and see them fall. Then I will ask, “Who’s next?”

In His grip,

Ernest Walter Johnston Jr. – My father’s son.

* 1 Samuel 17:32-37 (NSV)

** 1 Samuel 17:42-50 (NSV)

*** Picture Credit: http://drawn.ca/wordpress/wp-content/images/ltbe.jpg

I’m Back on the Wagon: Emmanuel

About a month ago I got a phone call that completely shattered my world, and I figured this blog was going to be one of its many casualties, just another thing I would leave behind. But as it turns out, life, though forever changed, continues to move forward. Transmissions of Transitions is not dead. I was just thrown off the wagon, thrown hard and far. If anything, I have more to share now. Everything has changed. It’s like I have new eyes as I see, new ears as I hear, and a new mind as I take everything in. Things might not ever be the same again, but I know that one they will be good again. I’m back on the wagon. I just hope my wounds and scars will act as bridges to other’s broken hearts. I also hope and pray that my family will be made whole once more.

About and hour ago, I sat down to write, I decided I wanted to listen to happy music that would give me hope. As I searched through my itunes library for the perfect playlist, almost by accident, my eyes struck gold, Christmas Music! What’s happier then singing about the birth Jesus Christ, the Hope of the world? Mix Christmas music with the musical genius of Shane and Shane and you’re in for a good time.

One song hit me hard and gave me such hope, “Oh Come Oh Come Emmanuel.” The first verse goes something like this:

Oh come Oh come Emanuel

And ransom captive Israel

That mourns in lonely exile here

Until the Son of God appears

REJOICE REJOICE EMANNUEL

SHALL COME TO THEE OH ISRAEL

The lyrics describe a nation trapped, enslaved, exiled, desperate for help, desperate for hope., and ends with command to one’s self to REJOICE! Not once, but twice does the lyricist call trapped, hurting, and captive Israel to REJOICE!

Why should they rejoice? What reason could they have? They are beaten and conquered. They are people without a land, exiled. However bleak, they hope, they have a defiant hope because EMMANUEL, GOD WITH US.

I can imagine the old faithful, though beaten down, gathering their people and telling them, “Remember what LORD your God has done. Remember how He brought us out of slavery, through the desert, and into the land. Remember the LORD is with us and will bring us back. Remember.”

I am reminded of the answer the LORD gives to Moses after Moses questions the Lord, “The LORD answered Moses, “Is the LORD’s arm too short? You will now see whether or not what I say will come through for you.”* God is with us even now. Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for the Lord is with me. Nothing is too hard for him. I am confident He will bring my family and I through.

I am confident that He will bring you through your storm as well. “Every scar is a bridge to someone’s broken heart.”** Even now, God is with us.

Emmanuel,

Ernest Johnston

* Numbers 11:23

** Thrice Lyrics: Vheissu

Something Jon Lee taught me: We Show What's Important

What do people see when they see me? What do people see when they see you?

I served on staff with YWAM Newcastle for about 3 years before college and I loved it. Looking back, I feel like it was very much a growing up time in my life. During my time there, I was stretched and trained, led and loved. I arrived a boy with hopes and dreams (undefined and unknown), and left a man with hope, faith, passion, direction, and purpose. There are many lessons to learn on one’s journey to manhood. I have learned far from all of them. My friend Jon Lee taught me this particular lesson I want to share with all of you. He taught me that it was important to remember that image you portray for others is, for better or for worse, usually what they tend to see.

When I first arrived in Newcastle, I quickly discovered that here in YWAM Newcastle, people loved Hardcore Music. One could walk down the hall and find multiple rooms sampling the brutal roars of Josh Scogin of Norma Jean or playing air drums along with the breakdowns of Underoath. You could even hear its influence in our weekly worship times. Most songs had a breakdown during the bridge. Every song had potential for some half timed symbol crash, and every so often the worship leader or background singer would blow the roof off the place with a roar that broke our chains and led us to the throne of God. Needless to say, I quickly became a fan and soon learned to love hardcore music. I loved it, and I thought I was really cool because I loved it.

YWAM life is a life of seasons. With every different season, students arrive from all over the world to come experience God on our schools, while the older students either go back home or leave for outreach. With every new student, came a new opportunity for a new set of first impressions.

I really loved hardcore music back then and wrapped a bit of my identity into that. So when a new batch of students came along, I, like some of the staff that came before me, would leave my room door open, and play my music super loud. Making it loud and clear that I was into hardcore music, the heavier and crazier the better. I thought I was so cool.

My neighbor in the next room over was a guy called Jon Lee, the legend, the rock star, the wise guy, the man himself. Jon was on staff for about a year before I got there and was well liked by all. I thought he was a rock star and wise man mixed into one. More then that, he was a good friend of mine. Needless to say, I respected him a lot and valued his opinion.*

One day, while blasting my music, feeling good, I noticed Jon Lee in his room, listening to hardcore music quite softly by himself. I went over and we talked about nothing for a while. Later I asked him, “Hey Jon, why don’t you ever play your music super loud?”

His answer still challenges me today. He looked at me, took a big breath, sighed**, and said, “I just don’t want other people to see me as just a hardcore kid. Don’t get me wrong, I love the music, but that’s not who I am. I figure I have one chance to make a first impression, and I’d rather them see me as man of God. That’s what I want to be known for.”

I agreed, went back to my room, and turned my music down. See what Jon wanted to portray was the thing that was most important to him. The image we willingly portray says a lot about what really matters to us. I'm not against playing your music really loud, dressing a certain way, sporting your favorite team, or something else. What matters is your intentions behind said action. It scares me a little when I think about the image the typical college guy projects. What is manhood? What do we project? Guys today pretend they don’t care about anything. Even worse, they might not actually care about anything, anything beside themselves that is.

I’m far from perfect and am still learning. I’m trying to figure out this manhood thing. I want to live as Jesus did. David Livingstone once said, “God had an only son and he was a missionary. A poor, poor example of him I am. But in his work I now live. And in this work, I wish to die.”

I too fall way short. Despite my constant failures, I want to portray that which is most important to me.

I don’t want to be a hardcore kid. I want to be a man of God.

What are you? What do you want people to see when they see you?

Ernie

* And still very much do.

** For those of you know who know Jon, the breath and sigh thing before he answers a question is classic! For example:

Me: “How you doing Jon?

Jon: Deep breath, big sigh, “I’m good.”

To Fail and Fail Again

A couple days ago, I decided to go to Starbucks fairly early in the morning.* The weather was perfect, so I decided to enjoy my coffee outside. As I sat and drank, an old man in a crisp vintage brown suit walked past me, stopped and looked back at me and said, “The only real failure in life is the failure to try.” Then without further explanation, he winked, turned around, and went on his way. I’m pretty sure this guy was an angel because he brought me the word. To say the least, it hit me between the eyes.

You see, lately I’ve been thinking about fear, brokenness, change, hope, bravery, faith, the seemingly impossible, and believe they are all related. I am proud to say I have lived a pretty full life so far. I got to experience cultures and places that have shattered my idea of normal and expanded my view of God, laughed until I cried countless times, saw a faithful God come through in the clutch more times then I can remember, took risks that worked out well and some not well at all, jumped off 60 foot cliffs, sat on a cliff where on one side of me I looked into the ocean and saw a crazy lightning storm and on the other side a meteorite shower, and lots more. And yet, looking back at life, both recent times and distant memories, because I was afraid of looking stupid, being less then average, getting rejected, not measuring up, or put simply, because of a fear of failure, I missed out of so much LIFE.

How can a man call himself a man if he is not willing face and respond to his failures? Though I won’t commit to failure, I do commit to the possibility of failing. Abraham Lincoln once said, “My great concern is not whether you have failed, but whether you are content with your failure.” A truth I have come believe is that often times success is only a few steps past failure.

I believe the process of risk taking and failing is the way of the Kingdom of God. The process will keep us humble and reveal our character. Jesus puts it this way, “The greatest among you will be the servant of all.” Paul said it like this, “Each time he said, "My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness." So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.” Again in Romans, Paul writes, “Because of the privilege and authority God has given me, I give each of you this warning: Don't think you are better than you really are. Be honest in your evaluation of yourselves, measuring yourselves by the faith God has given us.”** As a people, we must descend into greatness.

I want to do all the things I am afraid of, even if I fail every time. Who knows, maybe I might be good at some of these things! Life is happening all around me, and I don’t want to miss any of it. When I fall in life, I will get back up. I find that in times of hardship and situation where I am uncomfortable or in need, I run to God. When we are willing to fail, we constantly put ourselves in a place of discomfort, compelling us to live by faith in God

When I look to the future and think about the vision God has given me, I have to be a man who does the hard thing, takes risks, and is willing to fail. I won’t be satisfied with only small victories I already knew I could win. I want the big victories. Bill Gates once said, ““Success is a lousy teacher. It seduces smart people into thinking they can’t lose.”

I will learn from failure. I won’t let it stop me from trying.

Will You?

Ernest Johnston

*When I say fairly early, that means 10:15 am! Don't judge me.

** Matthew 23:11, 2 Corinthians 12:9, Romans 12:3

Sickness

To all my faithful and not so faithful readers!

It's been long and sickly week. I haven't written anything in a while because of health reasons and good old fashion busyness, but rest assured, I've had some good ideas brewing. Who knows, maybe I'll write something tonight.

It's been an odd week, but a good one. Here are some highlights:

- Lot's of sleep (exhausted sick sleep)

- Got hangout with Sarah McCutcheon for the first time since 2006! She is legendary.

- Watched two heavy documentaries that broke my heart. I will be writing about them.

- Went to entertaining, challenging, and enlightening conference about Songs of Solomon with the guys from the DGroup.

- Learned about failure, brokenness, and fear.

So expect this blog to pick up in the near future. Thanks for reading and being a part of my life.

Much Aloha. We are so blessed.

Ernie

A Defiant Confidence

There was once a man,

Who many consider quite foolish,

He built his house upon the sand.

But when the storms stormed and the floods flooded,

His house, standing so grand,

soon crashed and fell, even thudded.

Then there was another man,

This man was quite wise; you see he had a plan

He built his house upon a rock.

When the rains raged and the winds blew,

His house, though shaken,

held firm and steady, ever true.

The wise man’s hope founded on reliance,

Allows him to live loud, with confidence, shouting defiance.

His hope isn’t in things or chance,

And when the earth quakes, his foundation holds firm his stance.

God gives us HOPE that defies words like impossible,

He might lead you to a sea of red,

Or call you to build a house knowing there are storms ahead,

But I say this to you,

Trust God, build your house, and watch Him come through,

Ask for HOPE,

A defiant confidence that our God's character is ever TRUE